My Mate  A Bella and Edward Story
by likemeloveme2
Summary: Edward has returned to Forks after a worrying phone call about Bella-prepared to tell Bella about everything-including the fact that he has mated on her. Possessive Edward! Set during New Moon-but completely different storyline! Bella has left school!
1. Chapter 1

There will always be that common mis-conception that imprinting is stronger than the love a vampire feels for his mate. They couldn't be more wrong. I've seen it - in the wolves minds - the love the imprints feel for each other, and that isn't half as much as I feel for my Bella.  
>Bella was my mate. She didn't know this - and probably never would now.<br>I've learnt to just leave the things you're far too afraid to loose for your own good. That accident with Jasper on Bella's birthday just made me realize this. I loved Bella more than anything in the world. That's why I had to put her well being before my own selfish wants. Plus, I had the conversation with Aro.  
>He said that no vampire had ever mated with a human. The bond between mates only becomes stronger with time, and God knows that compared to my immortal life, Bella didn't have much of it. Aro was all for Bella becoming a vampire; but I wanted Bella to have as much as a human life as possible. If she had wanted to grow old and grey and die a peaceful death, I would've let her. Gladly. I would've hired someone to kill me, then we'd be together again. I didn't care about appearances.<br>Bella worried, while we were together, that I wouldn't love her the same when she had a face of a sixty year old if I didn't change her, but in all truthfulness, there was nothing I would want more to get old and grey haired with Bella. We'd have our grand kids running around on the porch, we'd stroll back to our meadow from time to time, we'd look through the last few pictures we shared with Renee and Charlie. But none of that could ever happen - because I will always have the baby face of a seventeen year old, forever. There wasn't much of an age range I could actually get away with - probably at most nineteen or twenty. I'd always have to go through school or college, and I worried I wouldn't be able to get legally married. But who cares about that now? Bella's gone. I've gone.  
>I left her six months ago. Six months of pure agony. You have no idea what it's like to be ripped away so cruelly from someone that you love with your whole heart, and completely defines you. And it's not something you can just brush under the rug and forget. The pain never dims. Its always there. I constantly miss Bella. She was my everything.<br>I've left my family - it was too painful for Jasper to see my emotions, too much for Alice to watch my future (several run in's with the volturi, where I was more or less begging for death) and too much for Carlisle and Esme to see there last son, who they thought had finally found a soul mate, drown in his own depression because he'd thrown everything he could have possibly ever wanted away.  
>I'd been back to visit Bella, she didn't know this, and my personal restraint was a lot stronger than I thought it was. It took everything not to run to her, not to shower her with the love and affection she'd been deprived of for the past six months.<br>I had to leave Bella. It was far too risky to have Jasper around her - and I was becoming dangerously attached to her. She was everything to me. I couldn't have told her about the mate unless she was a vampire. If she knew - it would only bring out my possessiveness to claim her. I always figured - the longer she had not knowing about it, the longer she had to be her own person.  
>As soon as she knew about it, I'd never leave her, I'd attempt to kill anyone that so much as even touched her. I'd experienced being on the wrong end of that twice - with Jasper and Emmett.<br>Yet it was so beautiful. Seeing their mate run to them, the only thing that could calm a three hundred and fifty pound Emmett down was Rosalie, simply with a touch of her hand. The only thing that could stop Jasper wrecking havoc in your head with your own emotions was a tiny four and a half foot Alice curled into his side. And that was simply by their presence, their touch.  
>I wanted that with Bella. I wanted to be able to protect her, I wanted to be able to call her mine. Deep down, I knew she was mine. But I could never truly claim her until she knew about the mate.<br>I was interrupted from my musings when a shrill alarm went off in my pocket. Damn phone. I hated using them. It was so pixilated, no matter how good of a phone it was, and the noise of it was awful. I pondered for a couple of seconds on whether to answer it or not. I never usually did. It would only be my family checking that I was still alive.  
>I looked at the caller ID. Alice. I sighed, and for the first time in two months, answered it.<br>"Alice?" I sighed into the phone. I could immediately tell something was wrong. There was a lot of talking in the back ground, that I couldn't quite discern with the sound on this shitty phone.  
>"Edward! See, I told you he'd pick up!" I heard her say to someone off of the phone excitedly. "It's Bella." She said, more seriously. My stomach clenched at the name. I hadn't realized it had been so long since I last heard it.<br>"What about her?" I asked, frantic already from the slight panic I heard in her voice.  
>"Edward - don't go metal - but I've been watching her decisions." I growled into the phone. I had specifically told her not to even think about her! I found it so unfair Alice still got to know so much about my mate, right down to her decisions, and I didn't even get the chance to see inside that beautiful head of hers.<br>"And?" I asked. I would rather not be rung just to be told something that she knew would piss me off.  
>"She's contemplating suicide - " She started, and straight away my head went into overload. Suicide?<br>"Alice!" I yelped into the phone. My chest hurt at the thought of my Bella not being in this world. What was the point of leaving her if all she was going to do is kill herself?  
>"She's decided to do it in two days. She'll slit her wrists, in your meadow. Charlie will find her there, and so will Jacob. Jacob will run, and eventually get killed by a group of newborn vampires, and Charlie will go the same way as Bella. You have to go to her Edward. Where are you?"<br>"Italy." I choked out.  
>"When was the last time you hunted?" She asked uncertainly.<br>I looked around the dark room I had been holed up in for the past six months.  
>Vampire's can live without blood, well, I have been able to anyway, for long amounts of time. Their self control obviously goes down when around blood because they've been without it for so long, but they can survive. I was honestly trying to drive myself to the closest form of death I could manage.<br>"I haven't." I told her quietly.  
>"Edward!" She screeched, as I knew she would. I winced slightly at the worry in her tone. How could I be so thoughtless? Had I not contemplated something like this happening?<br>"Run as far as you can, and go to the nearest airport. Hunt on the way. You don't know what state you'll catch Bella in when you do get here." She told me, and I almost screamed at her. Was she insinuating I might be too late? I would get there. I would. Even if I caught her in the act - I'd change her myself. I'd keep her in the most selfish way possible - by changing her into a vampire.  
>I ran. I knocked the door straight off of its hinges, and ran. I didn't even pay attention to where I was running, so was rather pleased when I turned up at a forest. I drank from seven elk, three mountain lions and two bears. I was so full and sloshy by the time I had finished, if vampires could hurl - I definitely would. But I wanted to be as careful as I could be for Bella. I checked the time on my phone. Four hours had passed since Alice had rang me. I ran as fast as I could, as far as I could, just as Alice had told me to. I smelt humans. I hadn't realized how much the scent must have bothered me before - it was burning my throat, although I could hold no more blood in my body. I stopped vampire speed running, and bought it down to a human run so I didn't completely expose vampires to the humans. Then I'd be killed anyway. I cursed as I ran at the slowest pace I could manage. Far too slow!<br>I almost thanked the lord when I got to an airport - middle of no where, mind you, I just hoped it wasn't busy. I went inside, and breathed a sigh of relief when it was almost deserted. I looked at the billboard that told people where the planes were going. There was one to Phoenix. I just figured I could run the rest. I fished my wallet out of my back pocket - I hadn't even changed clothes for six months - God. I decided it wasn't that gross while I was lining up to get my boarding pass, vampires don't sweat or anything like that.  
>I finally got a boarding pass, and went to my sector. My plane would be leaving soon. I breathed a sigh of relief I got here in time. How much time had passed? I looked at my phone, and a day had passed. I wrung my hands together nervously, realizing my time was cutting a bit close for my liking. I thanked God I had the common sense to charge my phone every now and again.<br>When my plane was finally called, I was first on. I just sat there, thinking. A few hours passed, then a few more, I think. All I knew was, I finally got there. Even closer to my Bella. And in time. I was first off of the plane, and left the airport as soon as I could. I human ran to the nearest woods and then ran, properly. I had done this before, I knew what I was doing. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that only 3 more hours had passed since I got off of the plane, and I was in Forks. I decided to go to my old house, my family's house. I jumped in surprise when I saw their cars outside. I knocked on the door hesitantly, and was bombarded by a tiny Alice. She placed kisses all over my face and wrapped her short legs around my hips. I stood there in shock. Alice will be Alice, I decided.  
>I heard a growl of annoyance and Jasper pried Alice off of me. He cradled her in his arms and put dainty kisses all over her hairline. Alice had her eyes shut and I think that was the most peaceful I had ever seen her. I felt a pang of pain. That could have been me and Bella. If I got there in time - and Bella would still have me... It could still be me and Bella. I stood there awkwardly, while all this was happening in the doorway. I took a step forward and was met with another tiny pair of arms wrapped around my torso. Esme. I leant into her hug, not realizing how much I had missed her.<br>"Welcome home, son." I heard Carlisle say from somewhere up the hall. I gave him what I assumed looked like a pained smile, and he gave me a tight one back. Esme just looked up at me and I spent a while trying to undo her vice-like grip around my waist. No-one said much, just hugs and small words were exchanged.  
>"You better go now, Edward. Bella just left." Alice said quietly from Jaspers arms. I was out of the door before anyone could even say anything else.<br>I ran to our meadow, and gawked when I saw my beautiful angel. How long had it been? I stayed hidden in the trees, and just decided to watch her for a little while. She was sitting up on a blanket, eating a sandwich looking thoughtful. Had Alice got her vision wrong? Had Bella only come out here for a picnic? I growled quietly in frustration. Had this been a trick to get me back to Bella? She had looked so peaceful, not like she was contemplating suicide!  
>I looked at my beautiful angel again. She had a vest top on, and some denim shorts, just a peek of luscious white skin between them. Her flip-flops were kicked off to the side of her, and her sunglasses discarded on the blanket. She reached for one of the purple flowers sprouting from the ground and I couldn't help but gasp.<br>All up her arms were gashes and scars. They all seemed fairly old - maybe a week or two - but I almost cried in frustration that she could've bled to death at any of those times. It turned out my gasp had been quite loud, because she looked around with her massive Dow eyes, for the source of the noise. She shrugged to herself when she saw nothing, and reached for her keys. I bit back a growl when I saw a pocket knife on one of her key chains. Seriously? She needed one of those on her keys? Had things got that bad?  
>She bought it up to her wrist, and I ran and lunged, without even thinking.<br>I ripped the keys from her hand, and flung them to the opposite side of the blanket. She let out a half strangled cry - but stopped abruptly when she saw me. She was more beautiful than the last time I saw her. She was always far too good for me, far too beautiful, soul and all.  
>"Edward?" She gasped out. I took in the way her lips were slightly parted, so her hot sweet breath rushed to my face. I took in the way her eyes were so innocent, the brown I remembered so well. I took in the few freckles across her cheeks that had obviously come out in the summer. I took a look around the meadow. It was summer? Hadn't noticed. Her eyelids fluttered a few times, she took in one stuttering breath - and then she fainted.<br>I caught her before she had a chance to flop to the blanket and just relished in the feeling of my sweet girl in my arms again. She looked so peaceful, like she was sleeping. I knew what she looked like sleeping far too well. I decided at that moment in time I would never leave her again.


	2. Chapter 2

BELLA POV  
>I felt my eyelids flutter, and cursed inwardly. I should've known I'd be too much of a coward to go through with the whole suicide thing. I'd been planning to do it for weeks - life was far too hard to live without... Edward. I literally mentally sighed his name. For the first couple of months I couldn't even say his name. Everywhere I looked I remembered Edward humming me my lullaby, or kissing me, or keeping the bad dreams away. Keeping me safe. For months, I could smell him on everything. Edward promised to leave nothing to remind me of him - but he left everything. Yeah, the physical memories might not have been there, but what about the mental ones? The ones that I could remember? I can still picture his smell. I inhaled deeply and jumped with a start. I could smell his smell. Maybe I'd whacked my head or something...<br>I tried to shift, expecting to roll onto the comforting cool grass of the meadow, but my eyes flew open in shock when I found instead a firm pair of arms holding me. I half shrieked when I saw who it was. Edward. Memories before I'd fainted suddenly come flooding back. He's here? For real? I kept asking myself. I didn't realize I must have been staring up into his face for literally about five minutes. I hadn't seen his face in so long.  
>Edward smiled down at me. I was cradled in his arms. Edward's arms were the only arms I ever wanted to be cradled in.<br>He had that smile that he used to reserve especially for me on. That beautiful crooked smile that I used to adore so much... I closed my eyes again. Why couldn't I wake up already? This dream would only make it harder to live without him! Or was this a nightmare? Torturing me in the worst possible way. The only thing I truly wanted, the only thing I could never have.  
>"Bella, love. I'm supposed to keep you awake." The voice I remember so well told me, jostling me only a little bit.<br>I let my eye lids flutter open again. I was in the Cullens house. It was strange that I still remembered it so well after not being in it for so long. I doubt I could remember it if I would awake... My subconscious mind really was playing tricks on me.  
>I let my eyes flutter closed again. Wake up, already, Bella! I told myself sternly.<br>"Bella, please!" The voice said again, only a bit more strangled. I huffed in annoyance, and tried to twist out of his arms. Maybe it'd be easier to drift out of my dream if I wasn't lying in my angels arms. But they held me firm, and I groaned. My subconscious had a better grip on me than I imagined. I really couldn't wake myself up from this one...  
>When Edward left, the nightmares came. I had to teach myself to wake up at my demand, since Edward wasn't there to ward off the nightmares like he used to.<br>"Leave me alone! I'm tryn'a wake up!" I growled at him, my voice coming out slurred.  
>"You are awake, love." The voice said, coming nearer. I almost jumped out of my skin when I felt his cool lips come down on my forehead.<br>"No, I'm not! This is gon'na make everything so much worse!" I groaned.  
>"I'm here, Bella." Edward said, and for the first time since he'd been trying to 'wake me', I popped my eyes open properly. Was it really true? Was I awake? Was he here?<br>"I'm here, love." He told me, again. And then I opened my mouth, and howled.  
>I cried for the months of my life I'd thrown away for him. I cried at the fact I was willing to give myself to him so simply, so easily. I cried for the fact that I probably wasn't even awake, and this would set me back about 3 months in therapy.<br>The angel had a pained expression on his face, and he wiped away at my tears in vain with his cool thumbs.  
>"A-Are you really here?" I asked him, bringing one hand up to touch his face. I sighed in relief through my tears when I felt the strong contours of his jaw, the coolness of his skin.<br>This was real.  
>He was here. With me.<br>"Don't cry, Bella. Please. I'll go if you want me to, I didn't mean to -" He started to say, to which I more or less screamed at him. I had never quite voiced how much I'd wanted him back.  
>"No!" I screeched, clinging to the t-shirt he had on - the one he left me in all those months ago... "Y-You can't leave me. Ever. Ever!" I sobbed, wanting more than anything.<br>I heard him sigh, and he clutched me tighter.  
>"Never again, Bella. Those months were the most painful months of my life, I'm far too selfish to ever do it again." He told me, kissing my eyebrows, my hairline, my eyelids, my cheekbones, any place he could get. I sagged against him, happy to hear he was here for good.<br>"Never again, Bella. Never." I nodded against his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck. I placed a few light kisses along his jaw, and calmed down enough to stop crying.  
>"How do I know you're not just saying that though?" I asked him, cringing when my voice came out thick and gravelly, like it always did after I'd been crying.<br>"Trust me, Bella. I'm far too much of a selfish creature to ever leave you of my own accord ever again. If you want to send me away - then so be it, but I could never leave you ever again." I nodded and just inhaled his scent for a little while. I wanted to bottle that scent. I wanted to drown in that scent.  
>"Can you ever forgive me, Bella?" He asked, almost sounding guilty. I nodded viciously against his shoulder.<br>"Already have." I told him, and he kissed my forehead again.  
>"You forgive far too easily, Bella. If you wanted me to grovel, if you wanted me to beg, I would've. If you didn't want me at all and moved on, I would've gone. Believe me when I say this, I'm okay with waiting for you if you need time." He told me, and I almost laughed at his sweetness. He was just too cute.<br>"All I need, is you're promise that you'll never leave me again."  
>He shook his head quickly.<br>"I couldn't. Bella, you've got to understand... There's been something - I haven't been telling you..." He appeared to be struggling with himself.  
>"What?" I asked him, eyebrow raised. What could be bigger news than being a vampire? I wasn't surprised by much nowadays, let me tell you.<br>"Bella; these months have been the hardest months I've ever lived in my life. You are my everything. My life, my love, my home. I would be happy with whatever decision you made, whether you lived with me as a human, whether you wanted to be changed to vampire, or whether you didn't want me at all. But the thing that made those months hardest to spend away from you, is because... You're my mate. You were no longer something I just wanted, you were a necessity for me to live. If you wanted me to leave, I'd leave knowing I'd made you happy, doing something you wanted. I knew it... From the moment I saw you, you'd have to be mine. I'm saying this now, that I'll never leave you, for as long as I live." He told me, while I just sat there with my mouth opening and closing like a fish.  
>"Edward, I - "<br>"You don't have to return the feelings, Bella. You don't have to feel the same. As I said, if you want me to leave, I'll leave, because I know it's something you want, that'll make you happy. You just need to kno - "  
>I cut him off by sitting up and kissing him full on the lips. I moaned when I touched his lips to mine for the first time in six months. Never had anything felt so good, so right.<br>He skimmed his hands up and down my sides, then rested them on my hips. I pulled away and hugged him as tight as I could, knowing it wouldn't hurt him.  
>I collapsed back into his arms, finally happy, finally sated.<br>"I'm so happy." I sighed.  
>"Me too, love." He told me.<br>I twisted in his arms so that my back was pressed to his chest, his arms wrapped around my hips, and my legs resting in between his. Pretty comfy way to sit if you ask me.  
>"Bella!" I heard one of the many voices I'd missed so much over the past few months - Emmett. He was running down the stairs, loud as ever, with Rosalie trailing behind him. He came round to what I realized was the living room sofa me and Edward were sitting on and swooped down to hug me, but backed away when Edward let out a ferocious sounding growl from behind me. I jumped and Edward tightened his grip around my waist, to the point it was almost painful. A good painful, though.<br>Emmett looked rather shaken while Rosalie just smiled down at me and gave me a hug. I raised an eyebrow at Emmett when Edward allowed this, and he just shrugged.  
>Alice came bounding down the stairs, positively beaming. She ran to me and Edward and pulled me into a hug, talking excitedly into my ear the whole time.<br>"I'm so happy you're back! You have no idea! We'll go shopping soon, I need some summer clothes, we've been up in Alaska, it's always freezing! Not even I can make a bulky coat look good most of the time." She told me, pulling back and shaking her head. I giggled, in spite of everything. What the hell was wrong with me?  
>Jasper simply nodded at me, which didn't surprise me - he wasn't much of a touchy feely person from what I can remember, apart from with Alice.<br>Esme and Carlisle were standing in the door way. They had that proud Mom and Dad look on.  
>Esme gave me a short but firm hug, whispering in my ear how much she missed me, while Carlisle gave me a very fatherly smile.<br>"Do you mind if I have a word with you, Bella, in my office?" Carlisle asked. God, it'd been a while since I heard that!  
>Edward did that snarling thing again, and I shivered as his cool breath rushed down my spine.<br>"You can come too, Edward - if you must." He added as an afterthought. I felt Edward nod behind me and he swung me up into his arms, making me squeal. He carried me up to Carlisles office, and I breathed in that familiar musky smell of old books and wood.  
>Edward sat down in the chair opposite Carlisles on the other side of the dress, plonking me down on his lap side ways, cradling me again. I blushed as Edward trailed small kisses down my neck and collarbone, obviously enjoying the new angle.<br>Carlisle cleared his throat, and Edward stopped with an air of annoyance.  
>"I assume Edward's told you about the..." Carlisle gestured with his hands vaguely, obviously not wanting to give anything away if Edward hadn't told me.<br>"Mate, yes." That sultry voice said.  
>"Right - good. Well, Bella, you'll notice a bit of a change of behavior from Edward, I'm afraid. With all mates, for the first few months, they are very possessive and eager to claim their mates. When Emmett and Jasper found their mates, they went away for a few months. I bought Esme an island, not long ago. Completely deserted, so no danger of any injuries or deaths. But obviously you have Charlie to worry about - so it's slightly different - "<br>"I don't mind. I could just tell him I'm going college or something." I cut in quickly, feeling my cheeks heat at the conversation.  
>Carlisle grimaced. "But you see, you're the only case of a human-vampire mating, so we'd worry."<br>"Worry?" I asked, not fully understanding.  
>"We'd worry you'd come back a vampire. We'd have to just warn the Em and Jaz to keep clear of you for the first few months, and you can carry on as you used to."<br>"I don't think that'll work, Carlisle. If Edward plans to move back here, he won't like seeing me with Charlie, Jake, even his own brothers. I think it's probably just best we stay out of the way." I told him, running it through in my head a few times after.  
>"But incase he changes you - " Carlisle started.<br>"I thought that was the inevitable. Before Edward left - " I swallowed uncomfortably. "We'd agreed that at some point he'd change me. I don't wanna grow old and I most definitely don't wanna leave Edward." I leaned back into him as I said it, and he let a contented rumble leave his chest.  
>"It's yours and Edwards decision. If you are prepared to leave Charlie for a few months, then so be it." Carlisle said, with a tight smile.<br>"I just don't want to put any one in danger." I told him, and he nodded.  
>Carlisle left the room, leaving just me and Edward curled up on the chair.<br>"You'd really be prepared to spend a few months alone with me?" He asked.  
>"Nothing I'd rather do." I told him, yawning.<p> 


End file.
